Back by popular demand is: Credit Theater. Of course, Credit Theater is a way for me (and my demented sense of humor) to explain the essence of credit decision making. Some decisions are good, while others are obviously quite bad.

This episode stars Samuel L. Jackson as Pete the Planner. Bill Bixby, the great thespian from the Incredible Hulk, will be playing, Kenny, an employee at a fictitious bank. This bank decides on whether a credit card decision makes sense, and then they decide whether they will approve the transaction.

Please try to read this in your best Samuel L Jackson voice (profanity is optional).

Samuel L: Hi, Kenny. How are you doing this fine day?

Bill Bixby: I'm doing just fine, Pete the Planner

Samuel L: I sure am hungry, but I don't have any cash on me. I could really go for a Big Mac or a Royale with Cheese. The problem is that I already have a pretty severe balance on my credit card.

Bill Bixby: Tell me about it. You are really racking up some serious interest.

Samuel L: I know. I know. But, it will only cost $4.50 for some lunch. Who really cares?

Bill Bixby: Look. I am getting pretty sick of this attitude of yours. The reallity is that you are taking out a loan to buy a sandwich. You seriously can't afford it. If you have to finance a cheeseburger, then you can't afford it. You can't afford the shoes you bought last week. You can't afford the drinks you bought last week. And you can't afford any other non-essential item that you put on your credit card in the last month.

Samuel L: Take it easy. You are getting a little green in the face, Kenny. I didn't realize it was such a big deal. The fast food restaurants except cards now, so I figured it was cool.

Bill Bixby: Their job is to offer you convenience. Your job is to not rely on that convenience to make your financial decisions.

And Scene

Moral of the story: Don't finance food. It makes no sense. If you can't pay off a credit card bill at the end of the month, then don't put any consumable item on that card.

Please keep the feedback coming. I got mixed reviews on the last Credit Theater. Clearly it was the acting.